Kai Lin/ Who Needs A Husband?

The article 'Who Needs A Husband?' talks about single women, and the writer addresses the issue of how people view single women, and why women choose to remain single.

First, the writer thinks that the reasons women remain single are because of a change in view of marriage. It used to be treated as something that brought about mainly stability and economic assistance, but now is highly spiritualised as spouses refer to each other as 'soul mates'. The idea of each woman having a 'Mr Perfect' also makes women have the mindset that if there's no love at first sight, then I might as well not get involved with this guy, leading to them remaining single and only marrying if they manage to find 'the one'. Also, the writer thinks that women enjoy the freedom and perks of singlehood too much to give it up even for 'the one'. The women's movement makes women feel empowered and want men to value them, so they wait for the right one. Some women also feel that they want men in their lives only if their husband adds on to them and not change who they are in person. They will not get married if they find their relationship too limiting in terms of personal and professional growth. In some cases, women avoid marriage because they witness failing marriages around them in their friends and relatives' lives. Affairs leading to unhappiness between couples and children suffering because of that lead to women thinking that they'd rather be alone than suffer together. In addition, singlehood is now portrayed as a fun, glamorous thing. Gone are the labels of 'spinster'. Now, TV shows such as Sex in the City show single women and the glamour of being one. Also, women now find that relationships with girl friends are just as important as with male friends. In the end, though, the writer concludes by saying that women are single by choice. They are the reason for their singlehood because if they had made some compromise and settled down, then they wouldn't be single.

Second, the writer analyses the change in society in general, and how these changes could affect women and their choices in getting married. The general attitudinal changes are that the labels of 'spinster' have been removed. Single women now enjoy happy social lives and fulfilling activities like solo vacations. Once treated as outcasts and having to face difficulties almost everywhere on being alone, single women are now more widely accepted and also seen as the "center of social and cultural life and heroine du jour in fiction". Other major societal shifts include women getting married later, women more open about gay relationships and young women becoming more pessimistic about marriage ( they want to marry but also prepared for singlehood as they think men and marriage are unreliable). Also, most single women would consider raising a child on their own and they turn to adoption and solo pregnancies. The views on single mothers are changing. Once, people were unsupportive of them but are now agreeable and more empathetic. Single women in the past used to treat houses they bought as temporary as they were still waiting for 'the one'. Now, single women treat houses as permanent as they are ready to accept singlehood forever, and hence do up their homes extravagantly, leading to businesses (such as travel and home renovation) recognising that single women are a lucrative market, and hence have more packages, seminars and products catered to them. The writer also sums up the thinking of single women in briefly: First, they have this idea that some time in the future, they will settle down. Then, after bad experiences, they realise that solitude is okay, and hence embrace singlehood.

Finally, the writer discusses some issues related to single women. Single women may regret their past decisions to end relationships and keep questioning the direction their lives are taking. They also miss companionship, and some even turn to comfortable relationships with men that include sex but no hint of marriage. Single women might also be that way because they are too picky. The writer also mentions questions about single women having more promiscuity, people doubting the capability of single mothers, the issue of the widening gender gap and the fact that singlehood is not all about fun as they still have to deal with loneliness sometimes.

I agree with the writer that women are now seeing that there is more to life than marriage. From the article, Jodie Hannaman's "teenage fantasies of buttercream frosting and silky bridesmaids dresses first began to crack with her high school sweetheart... There were other men after that, but it was Hannaman who repeatedly decided against a life built for two. Marriage, it began to dawn on her, wasn't an end in itself but rather something she wanted only if she found the right guy." The fact that women now think it's okay to live out the remainder of their lives without a close companion shows how much the idea of marriage has changed. My personal view is that marriage is not a bad thing, but it is not a compulsory thing either, which is on the same page as the writer. I, too, like the writer has mentioned, have the idea of 'the one', which like the writer says, may be too idealistic and impossible to find. However, I think it makes sense that if you are not convinced that you enjoy the time you spend with someone else, then he/she is not worth settling down with.